ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
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i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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