I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
