she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
