So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
