I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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