Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
