sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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