weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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