he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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