Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
