So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
