How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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