Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
