she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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