Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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