i think i have two assholes
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is Oprah even human
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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