You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
