Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
