It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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