She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
