you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
