I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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