It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i believe in u and ur pee
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