just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize