moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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