wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
