# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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