I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
