Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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