You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize