He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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