I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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