this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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