Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
