Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize