When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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