haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
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I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i think i just lost a toe
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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