So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
