i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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