The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
