I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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