I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
