Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I deserve this hangover.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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