Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
