Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
