his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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