You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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