Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
