we're chasing vodka with high fives
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
