just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
