did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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