somebody snuck up and got me drunk
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize