Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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