I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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