well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
