You're completely useless in the revolution.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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