either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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