I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
