last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize