dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
