This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
