Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't deserve a penis
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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