Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
