We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
