The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
