Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I've blown a few things in my day
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
