dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
