giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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