you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
