just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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