Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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